Treasure your Favorite Memory of Your Mother to Nurture More Joy

I come to you with a heavy heart today. I am losing someone dear to my heart, my mom, Mei.

I have painted about my mom and have expressed my love for her in my paintings.

For the past ten years, my mom suffers from Dementia. Last week, my mom fell into an unresponsive state and got hospitalized.

I talk to Mei every week, and ever since the Pandemic, her health has declined, so I called her twice a week.

A month ago, my mom called me, which was surprising to me. You see, since my mom has been suffering from Dementia, she does not do that anymore, My phone number is plaster on her wall, but she does not seem to realize that.

Anyway, she called me out of the blues, to tell me that she found my phone number and that she wants to come and see me. So I agreed that she should, although we should wait till the Pandemic is over to be safe.

The following day, I was elated that she had called the night before. That night, she called again, and I was equally impressed. But I also knew it could be the last of her lucid mind.

Subsequently, the phone calls that followed were a mixture of lucidity and confusion. 

My last conversation with her was a monologue on her part, and I listened. That was the last time I talked to my mom. Mei fell into an unresponsive state and got hospitalized, she has now returned to her senior center to rest.

I have dove into a feeling of deep sorrow, knowing that the days are numbered. 

I did not grow up with my mom since I was 7, I miss out on some life lessons, but I also remember some that are so important that it got seared into my young brain and continued to benefit me till today.

My mom is a complex feminist of many values. She is not perfect by any means. Mei is a songstress with a go-getter tenacity, and she is courageous and adventurous. She was also a successful teacher and businesswoman. 

Above all, my mom was a woman that wanted her girls to have the brightest future possible, so much so that she was willing to give up her identity as a mother. She trusted us to forge our lives like she did when she was little.

Her offspring, my sisters, and I bore a lot of our mother's traits, the good and the bad. 

During these days of grieving, my sister, Precious Pearl, said to me, when you are feeling sad about mom, try to think of the good times that you have spent with her.

And I have so many. Here is one:

"My mom and I went for a walk. I bought her a coffee maker and some coffee. I wanted to train her to drink a cup a day for health benefits.

That gorgeous spring day, Mei and I were having a good time. On our way home, we were chatting up a storm,  oblivious to our surroundings, we got lost. 

So my mom and I went to the closest convenience store and asked the clerk to call us a cab. While we were waiting for the taxi, we shared our misadventure with the clerk. The clerk then pulled out a cab voucher and told us that she does not take cabs and that she got it as a gift. 

The clerk then passed it on to us and told us to use it. Mom and I felt so blessed that we met a lady with such a big heart (I hope she is reading this)  we thought she was just the icing to our adventure. As we rode the taxi home,  we reminisced about the kind clerk and laughed about our misadventure."

Love you, mother,

Now, I would love it, if you could share one of your fondest moment about your mom with me below on the comment.  Let's honor our moms today and every day. <3

With deep sorrow 
​Ting Yuen

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Unconditional Love II by Ting Yuen

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